


We're Suppose to Get Through This Together *Ray After Ending Spoilers*

by Karin1282



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: After Ending Spoilers (Mystic Messenger), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Choi Saeran After Ending (Mystic Messenger), Crying, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Forgiveness, Healing, Heartbreak, Not Canon Compliant, Panic, Romantic Angst, Spoilers, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28232622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karin1282/pseuds/Karin1282
Summary: There's no other way, she has to leave Saeran to carry out the mission.He say's it's fine, she should live out her life with him in her heart.But is she okay with it?
Relationships: Choi Saeran & Original Character(s), Choi Saeran/Main Character
Kudos: 9





	We're Suppose to Get Through This Together *Ray After Ending Spoilers*

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the summary isn't the best. This is a drabble of my custom mc/oc Sol reacting to the VN after the chatroom "The Weight of Truth" through "Escape - Success!"  
> I hope you guys can enjoy it!
> 
> The bold italics are Saeran's dialogue taken from the VN

_‘No... Not again,,,, Not when I finally found my light..!’_

  
Sol was being held warmly in his arms, yet her whole being was trembling at his terrifying words. He spoke so calmly as to reassure her that everything was going to be okay, yet it made her heart shatter all the more. She prayed he could feel how much pain he was putting her heart through, with each agonizing heart beat as it cried against his chest. The shock of this even happening left her unable to speak.

They were finally together, they made a promise to find happiness together, then why is he letting her go?

_‘No.... no please.... I can’t be left again..! I can’t be left alone again!!’_

**_“Once the night is over, you can forget about me. Go back to your daily life as if nothing ever happened... Eat, meet up with friends, and sleep when it’s your bedtime, just like everyone else.”_ **

Her eyes start to tremble as they stare deep into each others eyes. Words continued to spill out of his mouth but it was starting to fall to deaf ears not being able to swallow it.

_‘Forget... how can I ever forget..?! I can’t go back to the life I once had!! A life of hiding, a life of fear! I can’t leave him here!!!’_

  
_**“I’ll be always watching you. Even when my life is over, I’ll be your guardian angel, always by your side. You are the one and only beginning and the end of my love... This is the reason why I was ever born. The only thing I can feel at this moment is you, as I hold you.”** _

_‘And the only person I see in your eyes, is you...’_

_**“I love you, Sol...”** _

There was no more time left to spare as 11 PM was rapidly approaching. She had no choice but to leave him.

She couldn’t remember her walk back to the house, or the walk to the car, but the drive back to C&R terrifying. She was sitting in one spot but it felt like she was running away from the person she needed to protect the most, no matter what. She desperately plans to go back to get him, but there was no way she could think straight in this state. His words caused her to relive so much pain. It felt like he underestimated her feelings for him, that he didn’t even consider how she’d feel. Having you’re loved one be left to die and turn into a guardian angel to watch over you...? She has one too many already. Far too many. And not just angels, but devils and ghosts too.

All she could do was silently sob throughout the entirety of ride back to the city. Even when she arrived, she continued to cry in her provided room.

“What am I suppose to do with out you...? How can I keep living like this without your hand in mine...? How can you... how can you think like this..? How can you act okay with this?!”

She would try to think about his love like he recommended, but it would sting as much as it shined within her, It was the same with everyone else who had left her side, friendships, family, potential lovers, all of their good and bad ended up eating away at her beaten heart once they disappeared from her life. The friends who promised to stay by her side, the family that was taken, the men who sized her up only to leave or disappear with little to no explanation or reason, it was all bittersweet with no closure.

With wavered breathing, she looks at the star filled sky, knowing she needed to find herself at a calm, level headed emotional state like Saeran has, but she was hurting so much. She started to think back at the past few days, wondering how they got themselves into this tortures situation. She thought about how calm he was, his constant ‘I love you’s, his smile, and how strong he was when facing his past abusers. He was so kind, almost too kind in her opinion, to the people who forced him to feel like a object only useful for other people to use. A feeling she was too used to feeling as well. It surprised her to hear him empathize and try to understand his abuser to such a degree that even they felt offended by his kind words! How can he do that..? How can he..

“Understand and forgive them...?”

Her tearful eyes shift towards the city buildings in front of her before taking a sharp breath as her vision continues to blur from new tears,

_‘Understand.... how can I....?’_

She raises her hand over her chest, softly gripping imaginary necklaces that she stopped wearing ever since gaining feelings for Saeran. Gifts that people from the past gave to her, objects that were her last remaining connection to them. Wherever they were, whatever they’ve done, these gifts would remind her that she had made some kind of impact in their lives, that she wasn’t truly just a throw away, right? Even so, they also served as constant reminders that no matter what people say or do for you, they can always leave or have alternative motives. She would sometimes describe them as ‘trophies’ of a survivor of multiple heart breaks. She has sat down and studied each past relationship over and over and over and over again and cry over what could have been wrong with her and have resentment from those who left her for someone ‘better’, but she never did try to understand why they would act like that in the first place.

With open eyes, she begins to think back on every relationship with a new point of view.. what kind of past did these people live before they met her? What made them to act like that? It was so easy to see into Saeran when he started acting out- albeit after they both snapped out of their rage for a brief moment that night, but she was able to realize what they were doing to each other, what she was doing to herself as well as himself. They lashed out like that due to a similar past of not feeling good enough, to bite first and scare the other into ‘knowing their place’ in comparison to them. It was something she experienced, but every one else was different from her.

It wasn’t until now that she realized the reason why certain relationships ended up abandoning her wasn’t because she wasn’t good enough for them, it was because they were different and no amount of devotion or friendliness could change that. Each person had their own baggage different from hers, they all viewed and found relationships that weren’t meant to make her feel like she was something less than a person, but because they probably had a past that made it difficult for them to be open with their feelings and communicating them. 

She realized this with one of the people who asked her out on a date but never showed up, latter learning they got into a relationship with someone else that was being worked on because of their communication problem.

Then she realized a relationship she had with a friend that had growing, complicated feelings for her but got together with someone else was because of his past losing his first lover to an accident. He wasn’t perusing her for her exactly, he was projecting his lost girlfriend onto her to make up for the pain of losing his original love, and she escaped a relationship based on that pain because he found someone who better resembled that lost love. 

Then eventually last, but not least, her relationship with someone who wanted to control her life, who wanted things done their way, when they wanted it, and how they wanted it done. They rushed, they pushed, they got angry when she refused or got sad, and eventually, like others, disappeared one night for someone more their speed and more compliant, and even then they tried to separate their new partner away from her friends and loved ones. They were so powerful too, in strength and status. It was the most impactful relationship she found herself trapped in, and it wasn’t until now that she decided to face this relationship head on and try to understand why they would treat her like that. Perhaps their parents were like that. Maybe their family acted the same way around them and it was the only way they learned how to ‘love’.

All of these past experiences with love and heart break were multiple weighted chains dragging her down in her everyday life and was interfering with her getting involved in new types of relationships. It was especially a problem when she met Saeran, but his love felt like the weight of those chains were lifted, and they were, but she wasn't free from them yet until now.

Sol’s breathing started to slow down at every scenario being played out and explained one last time in her mind. It shocked her to no end that viewing it like this was finally giving her a sense of peace, especially when she now has a bright future she can look forward to with someone she knows cares for her, as she does for him. Each person she thought of were being purged from her mind as she reviewed them one by one, never be brought up of again,

The tears started to dry, her mind was clearing up, and her hope was returning. Dedication started to fill her heart where panic once hosted just a few minutes ago. She once thought all she needed to do was forget the past and focus on the now in order to move forward, but now she truly feels like she can leave the past as it is, with understanding why everything happened, understanding their pain and situation and how it did hurt her, but now she can learn from it.

Now, with a clean, strong heart, she can push forward and save her true beloved,

“Heh... even after all the things we’ve been through already... you can still teach me something new, my wonderful love... I will save you. No matter what."


End file.
